words in movies
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Ross: Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago.
Chandler: Look (hands him a drink) it was a lo-o-ong time ago.
ERICA: Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord.
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
Rachel: Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Ross: All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
Janine: Australia, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Ross: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Monica: Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?
JADE: Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago.
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
RACHEL: These are from Halloween three years ago.
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am!
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
Pete: Oh, yeah. Wasnt that like a year ago?
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Rachel: Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt shes even had time to
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Tim: I moved back here a couple of months ago.
Monica: You did a minute ago!
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
Monica: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy.
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
MRS BUFFAY: Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now.
Another Tour Guide: (standing up and removing his coat) Im Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
Frank: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Ross: Will, high school was-was a long time ago.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Frank Sr.: I can't believe this. I justI can't believe this. How-howOh my God. How long ago?
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Chandler: Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him years ago!
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Joey: Two days ago.
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad?
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!