words in movies
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
Janine: Australia, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Monica: Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Ross: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
JADE: Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago.
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
RACHEL: These are from Halloween three years ago.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am!
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Monica: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy.
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Pete: Oh, yeah. Wasnt that like a year ago?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
MRS BUFFAY: Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now.
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Tim: I moved back here a couple of months ago.
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Monica: You did a minute ago!
Another Tour Guide: (standing up and removing his coat) Im Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me.
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Rachel: Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt shes even had time to
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Frank: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Frank Sr.: I can't believe this. I justI can't believe this. How-howOh my God. How long ago?
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Ross: Will, high school was-was a long time ago.
Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him years ago!
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Chandler: Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
Joey: Two days ago.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad?
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Cecilia: I probably shouldve just left years ago when the offers were pouring in, but yknow I just got so comfy here! And Ohh, I turned down some amazing work!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Rachel: About an hour ago.
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Monica: I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first.
Eric: Two weeks ago.
The Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Joey: Okay. (Clears throat) Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Monica: I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.