words in movies
All: (simultaneously) Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah right!
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Chandler: All right!
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Chandler: But the Kit-Kats are all right?!
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right?
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I dont like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isnt juice. All juice, okay?
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Monica: Yeah I can! (Laughs) And dont think I dont, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! (Laughs.)
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Monica: All right relax Mr. Ive Had Sex Four Times!
Joey: All right!
Joey: All right! So, was it amazing?
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Barry: You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend!
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Jack: Are you all right?
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
[They all turn around and look at Joey.]
[They all start fighting with each other.]
Joey: Come on man, you drove all the way up here.
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
[They all get in the cab and drive away.]
Monica: All right, well call you when we get back.
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
All: Wow!
Frank: Oh, I knew youd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her?
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
Rachel: Well, that shouldnt be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Rachel: All right.
Ross: All were saying is dont rush into anything.
Frank: Okay, so wait, all right, so how does that make things better?
Frank: All right, man!!
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Joey: All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! (hugs him)
All: Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay.
Pete: (turns off the TV) Youre taking this all wrong. Because, if I didnt leave you that tip, you wouldnt of come down here, we wouldnt be having this argument, and there wouldnt be this ah, heat between us.
Phoebe: Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
(Theyre all staring at him, with big, huge smiles on their faces.)
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
All: Hi! Hello!
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Ross: Im-Im gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)
All: Okay.
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
Rachel: Hi! All right, lets go shoppin!!
Phoebe Sr: Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but its justthat was my puppy.
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Mark: Why do all youre coffee mugs have numbers on the bottom?
(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
All: Hey!
Ross: We were all pretty shaken up about it.
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
All: Hello.
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
Joey: All right.
Joey: They gave me the shaft all right.
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
All: Hey!
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Rachel: All right!
Joey: Hey, its gonna be all right.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Phoebe: All right. Did everyone get out okay?
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Gunther: Are you all right?
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
WEDDING PLANNER: All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you.
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Pete: All right.
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Joey: Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Ross: All right.
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!!
Ross: All right.
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
Chandler: Okay. And its not just chicks y'know? Its all kinds of other animals!
Monica: No, its not bad. Its not bad at all. Its-its really nice.
Monica: Okay, I feel like Im talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
(In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)
All: Hey.
Ross: All right, Ill see you tonight.
Rachel: No. No, not at all, not at all. I actually was gonna bring someone myself, so
All: Oh!
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
Monica: All right. Honey, thats-thats a sleeve. Okay?
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Cailin: I dont know. Could be because I dont feel like standing around all night waiting for some guy who may or may not scream.
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
(Joey steps in a picks up the paper, the gang all look at him.)
Joey: All right, well start with apples.
Monica: When two people finally realise their feelings for each other, and-and they talk for hours, and they-they learn all about the other person!
Pete: Now, nooo! Im just excited about the restaurant, thats all.