words in movies
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
RYAN: Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely.
ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
CHANDLER: Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim (sp?, I'm not an art guy) museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Ross: Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation.
Ross: It's an empty apartment.
Ross: We're all alone in an empty apartment.
Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
(Ross makes an "I was right, and you werent face." And Rachel does Rosss little Im-flicking-you-off-but-Im-not-giving-you-the-finger banging of the fists.)
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Rachel: You know what honey, you go ahead, well call her an alternate.
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
(An awkward silence)
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Chandler: See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Monica: It just makes more sense as an ensemble.
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Phoebe: Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent.
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Ross: Hey now! That was an accident, okay.
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
Mr. Kaplan: Ill bet your thinking, Whats an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee? Eh?
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?
Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
(Chandler agrees in an absolutely bored way.)
Ross: Huh. Thats a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Ross: Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Alice: Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that theres an age difference between us.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
(An awkward silence follows.)
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Kate: What? So you never went out with an actress before?
Kate: Flights in an hour. I-I gotta go.
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Monica: (watching a happy couple walk by, arm in arm) Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an Oh my God. look back.)
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)