words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying on a pair of new boots as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Im sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman was looking at me like, "Oh, these are way too expensive for you."
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, shes really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, yknow, to give her some advice.
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Phoebe: You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?!
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Phoebe: Stings son, seven years old and theres a picture.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
Monica: I cant do that either! The soles are already a little scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood.
Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Stings son do not get along.
Dina: I I dont care about fashion! Im pregnant! And I know you are too, so you gotta help me!
Rachel: (stunned) And theres marketing
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
Monica: Oh nothing Im justjust was yawning. (Mimics the groan from before and stretches.)
Monica: Well yknow, Im just-Im just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise!
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Monica: Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, Ill wear the boots. In fact, Ill go into my room right now and yknow try the outfit on.
Monica: Okay? (She starts to walk which causes her to start crying) Ooo wee! Christmas party in my boots! (Runs into the bedroom and mixes saying ow with laughing.)
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Dina: Joe, mom and dad are fine
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Joey: I cant look at you right now! (Exits and slams the door behind him.)
(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesnt see Dina grabs the sandwich and heads back out.)
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Dina and Rachel are reading pregnancy books, Dina Pregnancy for Dummies and Rachel something else.]
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
Rachel: Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)
Trudie Styler: I gather Jack and Ben havent been getting along lately.
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Trudie Styler: So, I guess you and I should talk about Jack and Ben right now.
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are still discussing Bobby and Dinas situation.]
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Dina: And youre my big brother! I mean, youre my favorite guy in the whole world. Im not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Bobby: And by you.
Rachel: Okay Bobby, why dont we just come over here and let them have a little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: And they knew about it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Rachel and Monica: Ah, yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Monica: Oh, youre so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Phoebe: (hearing the signal) Im coming! Im coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
Ross and Rachel: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Phoebe: Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Chandler: Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
(Chandler looks over and sees Ross glaring at them.)
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Joey: And deaf!
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
(A worker comes to open the door and the horde starts to press forward.)
Joey: And youll be nice?
Rachel: And, Ill be nice.
Rachel: AndJoey!
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Rachel: All right, yknow what? I-Im sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling.
Joey: Yeah. Sorry about that. (He walks away and knocks on the next door which is answered by a little girl.) Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
Joey: Yes! Yes! You did and youre still yelling at me!
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Rachel: Because youre not finished yet and I wont have it! Greens do not quit!
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
[Scene: The Gym, Chandler and Mr. Geller are heading for the whirlpool room.]
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Joey: (laughing and turning off the TV) So, what did you guys think?
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Monica: And I have costumes.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Chandler: That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Chandler: And say nothing?
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
Ross: Oh great! That means Im stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!"
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
(They both break into a huge laugh and do that stop motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Rachel: Okay, so anyway Im sittin in my office and guess who walks in.
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Rachel: (reading the resume) And you were at this job for four years?