words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Monica: And what else is it not?
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Rachel: Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Racel: Yes and you talked to her...
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
(phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom)
Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
Ross: (mockingly)A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance!
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it!
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
Ross: Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
Rachel: Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your "special" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends?
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Monica: Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you!
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Phoebe: (she takes the bowl from Rachel's hands and she starts running around the room and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH!
Phoebe: (keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony)
Phoebe: If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! (She holds out the bowl, and makes as to drop the tickets on the street).
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
TV: "And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7"
Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!!
Joey: And what did she say?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up (she goes and picks up the dictionary).
Monica: Just double checking (does so)...no, no, no...(takes off a shoe and takes a ticket out of it) No!
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)
Joey: And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.
Monica and Ross: Seven.
(they all jump up excitedly and try to see the ticket)
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Gunther: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter).
Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.
Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
JOEY: Well I guess I gotta start savin' up for Ross's birthday, so I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Monica: Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! (Rachel pays him, Monica grabs some binoculars, and runs to the window.)
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Doug: Hi! And this is my wife Kara.
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Kara: (out of breath and mouths) I'm not all right.
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Doug: Yeah, Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe.
(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
(Chandler cuts in front of her and hits the ball high and long.)
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Joey: (entering) Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is going through her purse as Rachel rushes in.]
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
Ross: (entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
(Doug and Kara go get the coffee.)
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Janice: I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffeeahh!! Ross, we need to talk.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
Chandler: And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it downlet's write it down!
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Chandler: (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)
Ross: (walking up with Rachel and carrying coffee) Hey.
(Chandler picks up a basket from the table and puts it on his head.)
Ross: Ive been back and forth.
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.