words in movies
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)
Joey: Hey! Youre back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Chandler: Theyre terrific, and they live right here in the city.
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Phoebe: (nasally) Greg and Jenny?
(Monica goes over and dials their number.)
(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Monica: And youve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!
Joey: Yknow what? Dont worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Joey: Loud and clear! (Mouths, "Youll show me," and nods.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Monica: I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.
Phoebe: Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)
Monica: (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Chandler: So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed invitation down onto the table.)
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
Joey: (raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Ross and Rachel: Ah. (Pause) Oh.
Ross and Rachel: Ohh! Ew!
(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Jim: And your breasts! Hmm!!!
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Joey: And you couldnt think of anything else?!
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.]
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
(Phoebe and Parker enter)
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Ross: Ya wanna hang back and take our own cab?
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
(Everyone except Ross and Rachel leave.)
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel are arriving and see his parents.]
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Woman: And also, congratulations on your wedding.
Ross and Rachel: What?!
Ross and Rachel: Hmmmm .
Aunt Lisa: Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Ross and Rachel's Apartment.
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel have just gotten another wedding present.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
(Cut to Rachel and Ross)
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
(Various oohs and ahhs)
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
[Scene: A Street, Ross is walking past a newsstand and sees Rachel.]
(Chandler and Joey enter from the vending machines carrying sodas.)
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: (He goes into a song and dance number)
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. (Rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
(Suddenly the door opens and two guys come rushing in wielding water balloons.)
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Chandler: And a bagel with only
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
(Goes over and picks up the remote.)