words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Dina: What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!
Joey: Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Rachel: How are ya?
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
Dina: Who are you?!
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Ross: Slides are almost ready.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
Rachel: Wow! How are you?!
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Monica: You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Right. So now, aredo you, do you still do music?
Rachel: (stunned) You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray?
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Joey: (entering) Hey there you are!
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Chandler: But the Kit-Kats are all right?!
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Chandler: But those are the words! Those exact words!
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Monica: Yknow what? You are right?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
Ross: So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find
Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Joey: When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are?
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, continued from earlier. Monica and Chandler are still discussing the previous question.]
Monica: I know! Ill tell you something, we are gonna do that again!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Monica: Are you okay?
Jack: What are you doing here?
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Jack: Are you all right?
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Rachel: Who are these men?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
Joey: Are you kidding me?! I love Archie! And the whole gang!
Ross: So what are you gonna do?
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Chandler: You are totally and completely 100% forgiven.
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Joey's Look-A-Like: Im Joey! How are you doin?!
Monica: Who the hell are you?!
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are returning.]
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Phoebe: Say we are unagi!
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
Monica: You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)
Chandler: So, are we going in there?
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: So are guys doing okay?
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Monica: (opening the door) What are you doing?
Elizabeth: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Elizabeth are deciding what to do on their second date.]
Mel: You are so fired.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Rachel: Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like there are police for that!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are throwing huge spitballs at the entertainment center.]
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Elizabeth: You are so adorable.