words in movies
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Assistant: Puerto Rican.
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Shop assistant: (to a girl) Incentive For Men?
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I'll talk to her.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Tell me.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: The one in the director's chair.
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set?
Rachel: And an assistant.
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Rachel: How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdales?
Monica: Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, (to the kitchen worker from earlier) And you! Get the swordfish! (to another assistant chef) And you! Get a haircut!
Rachel: Im an assistant buyer!!
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)
Ross: Well, is this Hillary your HOT assistant chef Hillary?
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Rachel: Yeah! You-you got the job! Youre my new assistant!
Man: Actually, Im here about the assistant job.
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
Rachel: Chandler, you have an assistant right?
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
Phoebe: But-but you know you cannot get involved with your assistant.
Rachel: Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.
Rachel: Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes.
Kathy: Cute assistant! Whats his story? Is he
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Monica: 'Cause you invited your assistant.
The Assistant Director: You are now.
Monica: When it's your assistant, I would say never.
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Monica: Where you can make out with your assistant.
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I have nothing to do with casting.
JOEY: Hey.� How come you're answering your own phone?� Where's your crazy assistant?
[Scene: Chandler's office in Tulsa.�� His assistant is showing him photographs.]
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Assistant: You've never turned?
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
(The shop assistant sprays the perfume on Phoebe's neck)
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Assistant: You got two more twos?
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.
Assistant: Wow, you catch on quick.
Assistant: Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out.
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
Casting assistant: I'm sorry, what's going on?
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Assistant: You got sprayed with two two' s and...
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
Monica: Well yknow, Im just-Im just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise!