words in movies
Monica: 'Cause you invited your assistant.
Monica: When it's your assistant, I would say never.
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Assistant: Puerto Rican.
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
Shop assistant: (to a girl) Incentive For Men?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: The one in the director's chair.
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I'll talk to her.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Tell me.
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set?
Rachel: And an assistant.
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
Rachel: How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdales?
Rachel: Im an assistant buyer!!
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Monica: Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, (to the kitchen worker from earlier) And you! Get the swordfish! (to another assistant chef) And you! Get a haircut!
Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Ross: Well, is this Hillary your HOT assistant chef Hillary?
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Man: Actually, Im here about the assistant job.
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Rachel: Chandler, you have an assistant right?
Rachel: Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
Rachel: Yeah! You-you got the job! Youre my new assistant!
Rachel: Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes.
Phoebe: But-but you know you cannot get involved with your assistant.
Kathy: Cute assistant! Whats his story? Is he
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Monica: Where you can make out with your assistant.
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
The Assistant Director: You are now.
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I have nothing to do with casting.
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
JOEY: Hey.� How come you're answering your own phone?� Where's your crazy assistant?
[Scene: Chandler's office in Tulsa.�� His assistant is showing him photographs.]
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
(The shop assistant sprays the perfume on Phoebe's neck)
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.
Assistant: You've never turned?
Assistant: Wow, you catch on quick.
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
Assistant: You got two more twos?
Assistant: You got sprayed with two two' s and...
Assistant: Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out.
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Casting assistant: I'm sorry, what's going on?
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
Monica: Well yknow, Im just-Im just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise!