words in movies
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Joey: Rach! Rach! Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight.
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Joey: (sitting back down) Was the chord at least right
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
(All at once.)
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
Chandler: (looks over at her) Sure, nice.
Ross: Me too. I'm good at it.
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
[Scene: Joey's at the game show "Pyramid" with host Donny Osmond.]
Monica: Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file...
(someone knocks at the door)
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
[Scene: At Pyramid. Joey is with the woman now.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
(Chandler looks at the other two guys, embarrassed)
Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man.
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Chandler: (smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing?
Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
[They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.]
Sarah: (looks over at Joey's platter) Oh wow, are those stuffed clams?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Ross: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Chandler: I'll tell you at the wedding.
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel)
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross is at the Monkey cages.]
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Rachel: Ohh... (Ross mouths HA-HA at Monica and takes two cookies and she looks at him angrily)
Joey: Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Joey: (pointing at himself) Growth!
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Rachel: Hmm-hmm. (starts to pour herself a cup of coffee, never looking at Ross)
Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
(The director looks at Joey and he nods.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Judy: Well, we better get going, it's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore. He has trouble staying in his lane.
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
(They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is mr Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.)
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
[Scene: A counter at a government building. Phoebe's waiting in line.]
Rachel: (looking at the check) Unbelievable!
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Rachel: Oh, thank you... (looks at his face trying to remember his name)
Rachel: Oh, well, (looks at her box and chair) you're not catching me on my best day.
Mark: Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton.
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's new house. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.]
Ross: She's still at dinner?
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other)
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Chandler: (at Janice's punching) Don't, don't! (looks disgusted)
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.