words in movies
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
(Joey turns to leave but stops at the door.)
Ross: Y'know, I think they have those at that British pub near the trade center.
Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'knowEmily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Ross: No, not since I lost her at the airport.
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Joey: Say that to him and you're golden. (She just glares at him.)
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Monica: Makes me wanna puke! (Chandler looks at her, quizzically.)
Ross: Sure. Once, at work I-I thought carbon dating was fossilized
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
JANITOR: Word on the street - well, when I say street, I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo.
(And the crowd goes wild! Well, at least the live studio audience.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Rachel: Ugh! (Stares at him.)
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.
Phoebe: Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Chandler: There are snow cones! (Monica glares at him.) Snow cones! Yuck!
Joey: And while were down at the video store, you know what else we could rent? Die Hard! (Chandlers excited.) Oh, yknow what? I just remembered, that Everest thing is only available through mail order.
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Amy: um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... (looks at hem pleadingly)
Joey: (looking at it) Oh my God!!
Chandler: We've been driving for a half-hour, and you haven't looked at the road once.
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Chandler: Hes at a dinner party.
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The gang is surrounding Rachel at key positions.]
Chandler: At a fake game!!
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Chandler: (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about himself) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Chandler: Wh-How did you lose at Cups?!
Chandler: Hey, look at all the boxes!
Chandler: Now imagine you live at the supermarket.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Rachel: Well, it's embarrassing. People were looking at us like we were crazy.
[Scene: Airport. Madonna's Take A Bow plays in the background as Rachel waits at the gate with flowers.]
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
Monica: No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way.
Rachel: I-I, got a job at Ralph Lauren.
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]
Monica: Well, I think I shouldnt look directly at them.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? (He smiles at her.) OH!! Demon!! Demon!!
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.]
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Joey: (taking apart the invitation) Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! Youre at the wedding, you have to cry, "Handkerchief?" "No-no, I got my invitation."
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
Monica: Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke.
[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Rachel: (looking at her truffle) Look at it, isnt it beautiful?
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Ross glares at Monica.]
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!
Chandler: Yeah, we could do that without yknow risking our lives at all!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.