words in movies
Rachel: Just give us our apartment back!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Monica: Because we won our apartment back!
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Emily: Oh no, no, right I shouldnt have said married. Uh, please dont go freaky on me. I didnt mean it. Well, I didnt say it; I take it back!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Chandler: We are switching back, right now!
Chandler: Well, youre gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, were switching it back! Theres nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe?
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Rachel: Yeah! Can you believe that something that stupid actually got us our apartment back?
The Singing Man: Hey! Youre back!
Ross: Put it back exactly where you found it?
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Ross: Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet.
Chandler: Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Pete: Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. (to other caller) Yeah. (listens) Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. (pause) Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Gunther: He can have his job back.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!
Chandler: Theres no back to this couch!
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Ross: Youre welcome. (Gently kicks her back.)
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.
Monica's Boyfriend: Yknow what honey? I got to get back to the hospital.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Rachel: Okay. (She climbs back onto the couch.)
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Phoebe: Surprise! Look whos back!
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Woman: Wow! Well, welcome back!
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Monica: (pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
[Cut back to the present.]
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
[Cut back to the present, they are still in each others embrace.]
Ross: Youre back.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Elizabeth: (laughs) Ill be back in ten minutes.
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Joey: Hey! So Im back.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
Paul: Ill be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)