words in movies
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: You gotta be at least bi...
Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a...
Sandy: Well, please welcome... The Snufflebumps... Who wants to be mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus?
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Chandler: Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, its going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! Were not even sure why were having it.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Phoebe: Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
Monica: Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Joey: I know! I know! Come on, please-please you guys, dont-dont be mad. Im sure she just, she just said that stuff because she was nervous and you guys are like my best friends! Yknow? And it was our first date! Plus, shes really sick!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Mindy: Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
MONICA: Well, he's my parents' best friend, he has to be there.
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
Chandler: Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"!
MONICA: Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Joey: Im an actor, yknow? As-as a group, we tend to be over dramatic.
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Joey: Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.
Ross: Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, Im gonna be out with her all night.
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
Monica: Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated.
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
Monica: You be okay?
MONICA: Oh, because, um . . .� well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of days.� So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction.
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...
Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. (She leans back onto his hand.)
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Ross: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!
Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Joey: Well, how long do you think it'll be?