words in movies
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
MONICA: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
JOEY: Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
Rachel: Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000.
Gary: That would be great!
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way?
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
The Doctor: I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine.
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Joey: Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry?
Joey: (goes over to Ben) Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
CHANDLER: Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there.
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Joey: Aw, come on! It'll be years before I forget you!
Rachel: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
MONICA: Yeah, I'll be fine.� You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
Chandler: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long.
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Monica: Why else would we be here?
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Phoebe: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute.
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Rachel: Huh, thats funny. You look like youre gonna be the
Monica: Then all your stuff would be here.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldnt be interested? Who wouldnt want to date him?
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Tag: (interrupting again) Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I thought it would be funny.
Ross: Oh myCome here! Come here! (He hugs her.) Its okay. Everythings gonna be okay.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
Joey: Whoa!! Now look, dont be just blurtin stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
All: Oh thatd be great. Sure!
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
Phoebe: No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Rachel: Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Phoebe: Umm, she said shed be back December 26th.
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.