words in movies
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing!
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots?
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]
Mrs. Bing: Yeah, any messages for room 226?
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!
Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...
Mrs. Bing: You are gonna be fine, believe me.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Mrs. Bing: You okay, kiddo?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
SUSIE: Chandler Bing?
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
(bing, bong)
(the computer bing, bongs)
Santos: Hello, Mr. Bing.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Doug: (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me?
Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Joey: So, youre just Bing?
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Chandler: (Answering the phone at work) Hello, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0.
Doug: Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Doug: Bing!
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Doug: The joke Bing. What's the matter with you?
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groomNo! Not the groom!!
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Mr. Bing: (entering) Hello all!
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Mr. Franklin: Youre a joker Bing. (Walks away.)
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Mr. Franklin: Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil.
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Ticket Agent: Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing youll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing youll be in 25K.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Doug: Bing! Were all set for tonight, 8 oclock.
Doug: BingWhats this?! (Grabs his hand.)
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Bing, what an unusual name.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Joey: You-you must choose Mr. Bing.
CHANDLER: Chandler Bing.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!