words in movies
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Mr. Bing: (entering) Hello all!
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Mr. Bing: Nora!
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]
Mrs. Bing: Yeah, any messages for room 226?
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?
Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots?
Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing!
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!
Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Mrs. Bing: You okay, kiddo?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Mrs. Bing: You are gonna be fine, believe me.
(bing, bong)
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.
JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
SUSIE: Chandler Bing?
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
(the computer bing, bongs)
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Santos: Hello, Mr. Bing.
Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
Doug: (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me?
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: (Answering the phone at work) Hello, Chandler Bing.
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Joey: So, youre just Bing?
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Chandler: Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0.
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Doug: Bing!
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Doug: Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.
Doug: The joke Bing. What's the matter with you?
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groomNo! Not the groom!!
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Mr. Franklin: Youre a joker Bing. (Walks away.)
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Mr. Franklin: Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil.