words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are both pouting and sitting on the couch.]
(Both Chandler and Ross are eager to hear her decision.)
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Ross: And it works both ways.
Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
(they both start up the stairs.)
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
(They both look at each other for a while)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
(They both confer.)
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
Both: (screaming with excitement) Aah!
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
(They both shiver in horror.)
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Frank: Oh I know!! (Both he and Alice squeal hysterically)
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
(They both move to kiss again.)
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
(They both run and hug theyre respective partners.)
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Both: Three.
(They both sit back down.)
(They both hug.)
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
Emily: I love both of you!
Both: All right!
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?