words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Chandler: And last but not least.
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Chandler: But we don't do that.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
Mrs. Waltham: (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)
Rachel: But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
(They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is mr Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.)
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Monica: But more importantly to full well-rounded lives.
Ross: But also knowing it means a lot.
Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Rachel: No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.
Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
Chandler: Well, it makes me feel sad, but...
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Monica: I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Monica: But we love our house.
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
Mr Zelner: This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job.
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Joey: Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer)
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
MRS. GREENE: You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat.
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Rachel: I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture!
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
(Chandler slides the bowl to the far end of the counter. He tries again, but he hits the spoon to hard and the ball goes flying away.)
Rachel: I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.
Ross: Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me.
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Monica: You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together?
Chandler: I mean, I know that's not possible, but he does.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Joey: I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals.
Gunther: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Gunther: I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Rachel: Oh, you guys, I can't believe this. But I'll leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane.
Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels!
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Chandler: I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited!
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Ross: Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab!
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Chandler: We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this.
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
(She starts looking through her purse, but she can't find it.)
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Rachel: Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Passenger #1: But she is sometimes.
Rachel: But I already told Zelner that I would come back...
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Ross: I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane.
Ross: No, no, no, but...
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love love them.
Chandler: If she asks, I protested a little, but ok!
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Chandler: I know. See, yes. Thats Yasmine Bleeth, shes a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
RACHEL: OK. [they go to kiss but everyone's watching so Ross just kisses her on the top of her head and leaves]
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)