words in movies
Written By: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help From: Aaron Miller
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
(Another guy walks by and throws his light cigarette butt in the bucket.)
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Written by Ira Ungerlieder. Transcribed by Josh Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
Bob: Hey Toby! Have a good night. (Walks by.)
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: guineapig
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig
Ross: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I dont know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
Monica: Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Written by: Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: guineapig
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Written by: Marta Kaufmann & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig With Help From: Rachel Stigge
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Rachel: By all means.
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Teleplay by: Mark Kunerth Story by: Peter Tibbals Transcribed by: Cassie With Help From: Eric Aasen
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Written by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by: Ruth Curran
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: Ruth Curran
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Written by: Sherry Bilding-Graham & Ellen Plummer Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer, he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand. One of his co-workers walks by.]
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
(Phoebe walks by, ignoring the two strangers.)
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Written by: Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: guineapig
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. .
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids.
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz Transcribed by: guineapig
Monica: Whoa! Whoa!! Tackled by a girl! Bet ya dont see that everyday, do ya?
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Teleplay by: Steven Rosenhaus Story by: R. Lee Flemming, Jr. Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: guineapig
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
(Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.)
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by?
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Guy: I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.
Written by: Dana Klein Borkow Transcribed by: Dan Gottleib
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Written by: Scott Silveri Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Chris Brown Transcribed by: Dan Silverstein
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Ross: Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by "bye!"
Written by: Jeff Astroff & Mike Sikowitz
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Originally written by Alexa Junge Transcribed by Josh Hodge.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Julie: I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
STRANGER: Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by. [leaves flowers on bar]