words in movies
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Rachel: It... You can so totally tell.
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
Chandler: Well maybe if you go to school here next year we can totally hang out.
Chandler: Well, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship.
Rachel: No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have?
Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Dina: I-I cant go in there. I cant tell him!
Bitsy: Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real...
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
Joey: I cant look at you right now! (Exits and slams the door behind him.)
The Teacher: Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something?
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Monica: Oh no, we cant walk!
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Airline Employee: Im sorry, would you move your thumb? I cant see the seat number.
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
Monica: Okay, Im sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots.
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
Joey: Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Well so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb NutsOh forget it! I cant!
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Ross: This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner.
Monica: I cant think of anything were doing. (Quietly) Why cant I think of anything were doing?
Mona: Oh yknow, I didnt think of it that way. Youre right. Youre right. So, can I ask you a question?
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Doug: So why cant the three of us go out together?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Monica: Come here. I can breath through my mouth.
Joey: (entering) I cant do it!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, Im sure theyll come back when we can do it right.
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
Joey: Me too! Hey Rach, can I just say I think this is the best date I ever had!
Ross: But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone.
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I ask you something?
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
Chandler: All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?
Rachel: Oh, oh my God! I can practically hear the mahjong tiles!
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Monica: Phoebe, I can explain!
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Phoebe: But Im a professional! And Im really good! Look, if youre uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Chandler: Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.
Phoebe: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Mona: Cant we just ask her to go?
Chandler: I can do that.
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Joey: I do! So much! I cant stop thinking about her! I cant sleep, I
Joey: I do! So much! I cant stop thinking about her! I cant sleep, I
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Ross: No, Im serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if shes not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Rachel: Well honey, Im late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick?
Rachel: Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it?
Rachel: Can I? (Hug him.)
Joey: Dont start doing that. You cant do that Rach, cause then youre gonna make me do that. (Starts to cry.) Oh, here we go! (Sits down next to her.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey! You cant. Okay? Ever!
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: Luckily, the guy she settled for cant hear what youre talking about.
Monica: (stunned) I-Im the head chef. I-I cant get promoted.
Chandler: Im not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Rachel: Ooh, I can do that.
Monica: Uh I really dont know what to tell you Rach, I really dont. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
Rachel: Can you believe that?!
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Joey: Do you think you can just buy my friends baby?!