words in movies
[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
RYAN: Can I please see your face?
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
RYAN: Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?
Ashley: Can we do it again?
Richard: That can be arranged.
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Monica: Well there's not much we can do.
Chandler: Can you hear that?
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
Chandler: And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Ross: No, we can go to Williamsburg.
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
Chandler: Hi! Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? We need a porn break. We spent the last two hours watching In & Out & In, Again.
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
Chandler: No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Mindy: I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?
Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Monica: Can we come in?
Monica: Ross, can I?
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
Joey: He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait.
Ross: Can't do it, can you?
Julie: (Loudly, proving she can speak English.) Thank you. I'm from New York.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Ross: Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?
Chandler: Hey, Rach, can I get...
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Joey: Can we see her?
Joey: Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Chandler: So, uh, how often can you do it?
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Monica: I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets.
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
MONICA: What can we do for you?
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
JOEY: Check this out. Can I have this?
ROSS: How can you not believe in evolution?
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
RACHEL: What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine.
Rachel: No, I know, but Ihe just went on. He's right there, he's got the blue jacket on, I... can I j-just...
PHOEBE: Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
CHANDLER: We can talk about that.
CHANDLER: You can tell us.