words in movies
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
CAROL: So how did everything go?
CAROL: Well, we've gotta go.
CAROL: Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us.
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
CAROL: We're uh, we're getting married.
CAROL: Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to.
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
CAROL: Want us to go?
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
CAROL: How's it going?
CAROL: Fine, whatever.
CAROL: Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
CAROL: My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
CAROL: You do?
CAROL: Of course I do.
CAROL: You're right. Of course you're right.
CAROL: We're back on.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
CAROL: Thank you.
CAROL: Ross. [He lets her go]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Carol: Whats not funny?
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Carol: Oh I I think theyre funny.
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Carol: Thanks. (Exits.)
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Carol: What do you mean?
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Carol: Oh, me too.
Carol: Looks like it.
Carol: Like what?
Carol: (quickly) I love that idea!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
Carol: Thank you so much for coming.
Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Carol: Thank you so much.
CAROL: Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg.
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Carol: Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
Carol: Can I ask whatCome on in.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Carol: Umm uh, Ill make some coffee and we can uh, chat.
Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Carol: Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so
[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.]
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Phoebe: Still going through that dry spell with Carol?
Ross: Look Carol umm, I was, I was thinking maybe uh, maybe we can spice things up a little.
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Carol: Give me a 'for instance'.
Carol: Ross. You're not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller? 'Cause I think that borders on child abuse.
Carol: It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.