words in movies
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
Carol: Hey hey, come on in!
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol: Totally and completely healthy!
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Carol: Uh, that's our friend Tanya.
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.
Carol: Do you want to know?
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Carol: Well, thanks for the books.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Carol: Hello?
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?
Carol: Thanks.
Carol: Count faster.
Carol: You're gonna kill me!
Carol: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
Carol: Now go!
Carol: Out!
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Carol: Ok.
Carol: Ok.
Carol: Are they here yet?
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Carol: Where are they?
Carol: Oh, god.
Carol: But they're not here yet!
Carol: Really?
Carol: What does he look like?
(Carol and Susan arrive.)
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Carol: Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Carol?
Carol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)
Carol: Sure.
Carol: As much as he needs.
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Carol: Why'd you freak out?
Carol: How did we do?
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
CAROL: Hi honey.
CAROL: What?
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week.
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
CAROL: So how did everything go?
CAROL: Well, we've gotta go.
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
CAROL: We're uh, we're getting married.
CAROL: Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us.
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
CAROL: Want us to go?
CAROL: Fine, whatever.
CAROL: How's it going?
CAROL: Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.
CAROL: Of course I do.
CAROL: You do?
CAROL: We're back on.
CAROL: Thank you.
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
CAROL: Ross. [He lets her go]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
CAROL: You're right. Of course you're right.
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
CAROL: Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
CAROL: It's us.
CAROL: What did he say?
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Tuesday.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
CAROL: We've got a cab waiting downstairs.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Rachel: Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Carol: G. I. Joe. G. I. Joe?!
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Carol: Oh please God, let there be a song.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
CAROL: Think I better go before mommy starts weeping.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!