words in movies
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Carol: Oh, no no no. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Carol: That could be it.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Carol: Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny
Carol: Oh, I love you too. But...
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
Carol: Not her.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
CAROL: Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi.
CAROL: It's us.
CAROL: What did he say?
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Tuesday.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
CAROL: We've got a cab waiting downstairs.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
CAROL: My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Rachel: Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Carol: G. I. Joe. G. I. Joe?!
Carol: Oh please God, let there be a song.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
CAROL: Think I better go before mommy starts weeping.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Carol: It did at first, but not anymore.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Carol: Hey, what are you doing here?
Carol: (answering the door) Hi!
Carol: Hes sleeping.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Carol: Sooo!! Anyway...
Carol: Oh God, Ross I am so sorry.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Carol: Oh, great! Me too.
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Carol: You slept with another woman?
Carol: Ahh, nooo!!
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Carol: Yeah, okay, bye. (closes the door, turns out the lights, and runs back to the bedroom)
Carol: Okay, bye!!
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Carol: No. But its okay, Ill just put out pickles or something.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Carol: (irked) Where have you been?
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Carol: Yes!
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Carol: Hey, Ben! Hey!
Carol: Hey! Hows Ben?
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
Carol: Maybe.
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Carol: I was gonna say
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Carol: Whats not funny?
Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)
Carol: Oh I I think theyre funny.
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Carol: Thanks. (Exits.)