words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Carol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)
Ross: Carol?
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Carol: Sure.
Carol: It did at first, but not anymore.
Carol: As much as he needs.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Carol: How did we do?
Carol: Why'd you freak out?
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Carol: (irked) Where have you been?
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Carol: Yes!
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Carol: Hey, Ben! Hey!
Carol: Hey! Hows Ben?
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
Carol: Maybe.
Carol: Whats not funny?
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Carol: I was gonna say
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Carol: Oh I I think theyre funny.
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Carol: Thanks. (Exits.)
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Carol: Like what?
Carol: What do you mean?
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
Carol: (quickly) I love that idea!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
Carol: Looks like it.
Carol: Oh, me too.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Carol: Thank you so much for coming.
Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Carol: Thank you so much.
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting.
CAROL: Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Carol: Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Carol: Can I ask whatCome on in.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Carol: Umm uh, Ill make some coffee and we can uh, chat.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?