words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, we're done.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Joey, Chandler, and Ross: (sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Chandler: You think?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Chandler: I'm not moving out.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Chandler: Aw, don't do that
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Chandler: More coffee over here, please!
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Chandler: So what are you gonna do?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Chandler: That's patio furniture!
Chandler: (gesturing towards another table) What about the birds?
Chandler: You pick one.
Chandler: Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler: I know!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Chandler: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Chandler: Hey!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Chandler: Yeah, get out!
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Its a dog.
Chandler: Ha!
Chandler: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. (Turns around and sees that Joey isn't there.) Joe? (Hears giggling coming from a box) Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. (Hears the giggling again)
Chandler: What are you doin?
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: (entering) Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Chandler: Nice work my friend.
Chandler: Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure!
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: And a bagel with only
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
(Chandler does so.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Chandler: All right, ready?
Chandler: Two.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: FREE PORN!!!
(Chandler turns off the porn and sets the remote down.)
Chandler: We have free porn here!!!
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
(Chandler turns on the TV and )
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Stick to your side!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Chandler: Thanks.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Chandler: Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops?
Chandler: Thats great.
Chandler: (simultaneously with Ross) No!
Ross: (simultaneously with Chandler) Yeah!
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
Chandler: Bamboozled?
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Chandler: Higher or lower than what?
Chandler: What does a Wicked Wango card do?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Chandler: Bogota.
(As soon as Monica leaves the room, Chandler takes off his jacket and runs to the bathroom. Monica enters the bathroom to find Chandler in the bathtub.)
Chandler: This game makes no sense!
Joey: All right Chandler, youre up.
Chandler: Let me see that.
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
Chandler: Either, it makes no difference.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Chandler: Let me think. Let me thinkOh! I dont care.
Chandler: Ill take a card.
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Chandler: Triscadecaphobia.
Chandler: Treasure of the Sierra Madre!