words in movies
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: Oh, I havent had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, Im never gonna have that feeling again am I?
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Chandler: Oh totally! (Holds up his finger.) Pull my finger.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is talking to Chandler.]
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big
Chandler: Kinda. Theyre really big.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody its uh its mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Chandler: (hoarsely) Water! Water! Water!
(there's a lot of supportive cheers from all. Erica, Monica and Chandler leave.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Where are you going?
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!
Chandler: You can't leave me alone with her.
Chandler: Next time, can I say breathe?
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
Chandler: Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both.
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Chandler: It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together.
Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler.
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment.]
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: Is it really that bad?
(Monica gives Chandler a look.)
Chandler: I'm okay.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Chandler: Wow!
Monica: Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life!
Chandler: Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle.
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know. He has your eyes.
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
Chandler: Well, that's spongy.
Chandler: I mean, I know that's not possible, but he does.
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!
Chandler: How do you feel?
Chandler: What do we do?
Chandler: Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good.
Monica: Chandler, you're panicking!
Chandler: (panicking) Twins! Twins!!
Chandler: Interesting! (To Monica) Can I see you for a second?
Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
Chandler: (smiles) Okay. Shhh...
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.
Chandler: (shocked) She? It's a girl?
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
(Monica and Chandler run back to Erica's bed.)
(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Chandler: Bye!
Chandler: Have fun at church-camp!
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know! You ready to trade?
Chandler: We could trade later.
Erica: Anyway, I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Chandler.
(The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.)
Joey: Im sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
Chandler: Hey.
(Chandler enters carrying his daughter.)
Chandler: Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.
Chandler: Her name is Erica.
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Chandler: I love you.
Chandler: I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited!
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
(Monica and Chandler enter.)
Chandler: Really? You got us a chick and a duck?
(Chandler grins, while Monica is less enthusiastic.)
Chandler: Oh, don't worry, we'll find them.
Chandler: We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this.
Chandler: It's okay, it's just an egg roll.
Chandler: Alright.
Chandler: Well, that can't be good!
Chandler: How?
Chandler: Okay, let's find these birds.
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe.
Chandler: I know! It's.. It's the foosball table.
Chandler: No... It's all glued together.
Chandler: Joey, wait! The ball!
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Chandler: Did that movie ever get made?
Chandler: Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.
Chandler: What's the matter?
Chandler: I don't know. Except that, for one last time... (he touches the players as he says the following) Good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game.
Chandler: I understand.
Chandler: Well, I can't do it either.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Chandler: That was... Impressive.
Chandler: Sorry about the table, man.
Chandler: Hey, you know what? Maybe we should keep them here with you.
Chandler: Well, at least we got these little guys out.