words in movies
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Chandler: Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch!
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, yeah!
Chandler: The whole thing! Can we go?
Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part!
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Chandler: Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots.
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Chandler: Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Chandler: Yes, money well spent!
Chandler: Okay, two, three years of rent, utilities, food
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Cassie: Oh my God! You do a great Chandler!
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Chandler: Yknow I think we should invite them.
Chandler: Well this is just sad!
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is showing Chandler the selection of tuxedos.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Chandler: (entering from his room carrying a fire extinguisher and wearing oven mitts) Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluidOp! Op! (He puts out a small fire which has re-ignited in his room.)
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Chandler: You mean like for award shows?
Chandler: Whos that?
Chandler: Okay, who wore those? (Points to the tuxedos.)
Chandler: Are you serious?
Chandler: Not bad.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Chandler: What?
Chandler: A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head?
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
(Chandler mimics him.)
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is blowing out a candle as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Im not your garbage man. Im your mailman.
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
Chandler: Ooh, yum! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Chandler: Well, does that mean that youre not going to wearing yours?
Chandler: Please, dont take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?!
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Chandler: Do you happen to know what Im going to say?
Chandler: Do you realize you get louder each week?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Chandler: Right. So uh, have you written yours yet?
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Ross: ...everyone, this is Chandler!
Chandler: Yeah, Im not sure I can do that.
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Chandler: (writing) Monica
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: You'll get one.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Chandler: Nice try.
Chandler: (trapped) Uh, uh.
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: This is not going to work.
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Chandler: Look, Monica
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: No I didn't!
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Chandler: Oh my God.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Chandler: Hey Joe!
Chandler: Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then.
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is hooking Chandler up with another tuxedo.]
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
Chandler: It happened in London.
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!