words in movies
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Chandler: Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch!
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, yeah!
Chandler: The whole thing! Can we go?
Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part!
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Chandler: Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots.
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Chandler: Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Chandler: Yes, money well spent!
Chandler: Okay, two, three years of rent, utilities, food
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Rachel: Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
SUSIE: Uh, is your name Chandler?
[Scene: Frank's tailor shop, Chandler is getting his pants measured.]
SUSIE: Chandler Bing?
CHANDLER: Uh, yes, yes it is.
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
CHANDLER: Ahhhh.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
CHANDLER: Oh uh, o, OK.
[back to Chandler and Susie]
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
[Chandler enters]
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
CHANDLER: Like, when you're cooking a steak.
CHANDLER: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
CHANDLER: OK, then, eat me, I'm done.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
Chandler: Well Ive been playing it for like eight hours, itll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, theyre dirty words.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Oh.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
CHANDLER: OK.
Chandler: (Very defensive.) Im not seeing Monica.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
CHANDLER: Alrighty. [we see Chandler's pants drop from under the stall door]
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
CHANDLER: Huh? Where, whaddya mean?
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
CHANDLER: Joey!
CHANDLER: Joey?
CHANDLER: Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes.
CHANDLER: No, no, this is the first time.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
CHANDLER: No, no, you don't have to see.
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
CHANDLER: What's this?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Chandler: (rubbing his temples) Oh, no-no-no-no-no....
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
CHANDLER: I so am.
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
[Chandler rips off the sheet of paper from the printer.]
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
CHANDLER: That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
Chandler: What are you crazy? That's a baby!
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: Hey.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
CHANDLER: That's what they'll call us.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
CHANDLER: [sits down] Ohh yes.
CHANDLER: Congratulations!
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His clothes are askew, he looks beat.)