words in movies
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Chandler: Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch!
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, yeah!
Chandler: The whole thing! Can we go?
Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part!
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Chandler: Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots.
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Chandler: Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Chandler: Yes, money well spent!
Chandler: Okay, two, three years of rent, utilities, food
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: No!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's]
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Chandler: Why did I get married?!
Chandler: Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Chandler: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving?
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
Chandler: Ah! The high road...
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Chandler: We still got it!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Chandler: Well...
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
Chandler: And done!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: No problem.
Chandler: I gotta stop this.
Chandler: You, touching yourself, out!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Are those my wife�s nipples?
Chandler: Really? In front of all this people?
Chandler: I dont know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
(Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
CHANDLER: Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Ya know, because I think actually mine's growing back.
Chandler: Beam me up Jesus.
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Wow.
Chandler (reading the newspaper): Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.
Chandler: I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?
Chandler: Today is the sixth.
Chandler: I don't do that.
Chandler: Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
Chandler: Yes, it's also 2003.
Chandler: Tough crib.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.
Chandler: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.
Chandler: I am not working. There's not much to do around here!
Chandler: Sorry.
Chandler: I - I don't think I can.
Chandler: Because of Emma.
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.
JOEY: Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...
Chandler: Emma was doing it!
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
Chandler (laughs): Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.
Chandler: I think we may have really done it this time.
Chandler: Okay. (Runs out.)
Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too.
Chandler: Where's Emma?
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Chandler: What? Why?
Chandler: Your family name is Tribbiani.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.
Chandler: Did you see our bank statement? Can this be right?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
Monica: But Chandler lent you money!
Joey: (to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Chandler: Yeah.... she's not so cute.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Chandler: By drowning or...?!
Chandler: Yes dear.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights.
Chandler: Hey Joe!
Chandler: What? What do you mean you know?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table]