words in movies
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: Do we have to?
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: It's a great idea. (They kiss)
Chandler: Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our (His and Monica's) anniversary.
Chandler: (coughing) Art lover!
Chandler: I said art lover.
Chandler: I don't know, I'm very tired.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Chandler: So it's pretty much the same Pheebs.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Chandler: Can I give you a present now?
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Chandler: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Chandler: (talking out of the side of his mouth) I'm not mad.
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal. (He still ain't happy.)
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Chandler: Why?! What happened?!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Chandler: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
Chandler: (pushing her away from another hug) Next time?
Chandler: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Chandler: That's so funny, because I think I just did!
Chandler: Fine with me!
Chandler: What are you talking
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Chandler: Whoa!
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Chandler: Good luck!
Joey: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
Chandler: I see.
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: (totally confused) What?
Chandler: What's an identical hand twin?
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Chandler: Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?
Chandler: (totally confused) How?
Chandler: Again I must go back to, how?
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Chandler: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: That was Joey!
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay. (He gets up and goes to find her.)
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
Chandler: Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6?
Chandler: 8. 8!
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Monica: (To Chandler) We're not really gonna buy these people steak dinners are we?
Chandler: Noo!
Chandler: Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8.
Chandler: Two fours.
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
Chandler: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! (Everyone cheers) Wait-wait-wait-wait! We (motions to Monica and him.) get the biggest suite in the place.
Chandler: (sees the roll) Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about!
Chandler: Another hard 8.
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Chandler: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
Chandler: (spots one) Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one?
Monica: Nobody move! (To Chandler) Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Chandler: It's a four.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: I don't think so.
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
Chandler and Monica: All right.
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Chandler: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Chandler: Love what you've done with the place.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Oh yeah!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
Chandler: I hate this thing!
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?
Chandler: You mean this. (Does the maneuver perfectly.)
Chandler: (entering) Hello children!
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: No-no-no-no!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Chandler: Okay, so he's out of here.
Chandler: Not even on page 7?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Chandler: Let's go quicker.
Chandler: There we go!
Chandler: Yes, it is.
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Ross: (To Chandler) How about you?
Chandler: Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks.
Chandler: We are bad people.
(She runs off leaving a stunned Chandler behind.)
Chandler: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: About Ross!
Chandler: Yes that was a nice place!
Chandler: Ohhhhh!
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Chandler: Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Chandler: Are you all right?
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Without my toe?! I need my toe!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Chandler: Look, Monica
Chandler: Nice try.
Chandler: Couldnt sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldnt sleep. Yknow? I was like, if I fall asleep now Ill get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now Ill get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldnt fall asleep.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Chandler: Yeah!
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)
Chandler: Help!
Chandler: Well, yeah actually.
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Hi, Pheebs!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Chandler: What is going on here?
Chandler: Yeah.
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Chandler: OhI don't know.
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Chandler: Ross?
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Chandler: Ehh, you're just liquored up.
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.