words in movies
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
[Cut to Chandler]
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: Do we have to?
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: It's a great idea. (They kiss)
Chandler: Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our (His and Monica's) anniversary.
Chandler: (coughing) Art lover!
Chandler: I said art lover.
Chandler: I don't know, I'm very tired.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Chandler: So it's pretty much the same Pheebs.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Chandler: Can I give you a present now?
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Chandler: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Chandler: What-what Richard thing?
Chandler: What Richard thing?
Chandler: (talking out of the side of his mouth) I'm not mad.
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal. (He still ain't happy.)
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Chandler: Why?! What happened?!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Chandler: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
Chandler: (pushing her away from another hug) Next time?
Chandler: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Chandler: That's so funny, because I think I just did!
Chandler: Fine with me!
Chandler: What are you talking
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Chandler: Whoa!
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Chandler: Good luck!
Joey: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
Chandler: I see.
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: (totally confused) What?
Chandler: What's an identical hand twin?
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Chandler: Are you sure you weren't (pause) looking at your hands in a mirror?
Chandler: (totally confused) How?
Chandler: Again I must go back to, how?
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Chandler: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: That was Joey!
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay. (He gets up and goes to find her.)
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Chandler: Really?!
Chandler: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
Chandler: Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6?
Chandler: 8. 8!
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Monica: (To Chandler) We're not really gonna buy these people steak dinners are we?
Chandler: Noo!
Chandler: Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8.
Chandler: Two fours.
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
Chandler: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! (Everyone cheers) Wait-wait-wait-wait! We (motions to Monica and him.) get the biggest suite in the place.
Chandler: (sees the roll) Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about!
Chandler: Another hard 8.
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Chandler: Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Chandler: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
Chandler: (spots one) Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one?
Monica: Nobody move! (To Chandler) Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Chandler: All right!
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Chandler: It's a four.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: I don't think so.
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
Chandler and Monica: All right.
Chandler: (singing) Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Chandler: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: No!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's]
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Chandler: Why did I get married?!
Chandler: Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Chandler: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving?
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
Chandler: Ah! The high road...
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Chandler: We still got it!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Chandler: Well...
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
Chandler: And done!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: No problem.
Chandler: I gotta stop this.
Chandler: You, touching yourself, out!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Are those my wife�s nipples?
Chandler: Really? In front of all this people?
Chandler: I dont know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
(Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
CHANDLER: Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Ya know, because I think actually mine's growing back.
Chandler: Beam me up Jesus.
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Wow.
Chandler (reading the newspaper): Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.
Chandler: I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?
Chandler: Today is the sixth.
Chandler: I don't do that.
Chandler: Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
Chandler: Yes, it's also 2003.
Chandler: Tough crib.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.
Chandler: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.
Chandler: I am not working. There's not much to do around here!
Chandler: Sorry.
Chandler: I - I don't think I can.
Chandler: Because of Emma.
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.
JOEY: Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...
Chandler: Emma was doing it!
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
Chandler (laughs): Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.
Chandler: I think we may have really done it this time.
Chandler: Okay. (Runs out.)
Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too.
Chandler: Where's Emma?
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Chandler: No, no, no.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Chandler: What? Why?
Chandler: Your family name is Tribbiani.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.
Chandler: Did you see our bank statement? Can this be right?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
Monica: But Chandler lent you money!
Joey: (to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Chandler: Yeah.... she's not so cute.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Chandler: By drowning or...?!
Chandler: Yes dear.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights.
Chandler: Hey Joe!
Chandler: What? What do you mean you know?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table]