words in movies
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
CHANDLER: Like, when you're cooking a steak.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.]
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Phoebe: All right I I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question.
Rachel: Ohh, please! Cooking soothes me. (They kiss.) Ahh. So, dig in!
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: (cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is watching TV and Monica is cooking]
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, shes cooking as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the chick and the duck are watching Emeril Live, a cooking show.]
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants Kitchen, shes cooking as one of her waiters, Stu, comes over to talk to her.]
The Cooking Teacher: Okay, go ahead.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
The Cooking Teacher: And the cream?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
The Cooking Teacher: Well, hats off to the chef.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
The Cooking Teacher: The chef!
The Cooking Teacher: Ah Monica, my star student.
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
The Cooking Teacher: Very much.
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
The Cooking Teacher: Oh yes! Youre an excellent chef! As a person youre a little
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
The Cooking Teacher: (tasting the cookie and with her mouthful) Oh, yum-yum-yum. (Hands the star back.)
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
The Cooking Teacher: Were all beginners here. Nobody knows what theyre doing.
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Phoebe: All the time when you're cooking.
Monica: What the hell are you cooking!
The Cooking Teacher: Welcome to introduction to cooking. Now, before we start, can anyone tell me the difference between a hollandaise sauce and a bearnaise sauce? (No one can.)
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cooking as Rachel paces nervously.]
The Cooking Teacher: If youre a professional chef, what are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking?
Phoebe: Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.