words in movies
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
PHOEBE: Why don't you play with your roommate?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
RICHARD: I don't know, I don't have my jammies.
MONICA: Well, maybe you don't need them.
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
DELIVERY GUY: Uhh, I don't know, I just bring the scripts.
DELIVERY GUY: I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show.
MONICA: Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
JOEY: I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
RACHEL: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Chandler: Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her.
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
Ross: Look, you guys don't need me here taking up your space.
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Joey: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh...
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
CHAN: Don't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the computer.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Rachel: 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Chandler: No, it's... fancier than a pimple. Look Ross, why don't you just go see a
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
Phoebe: That's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I don't care.
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
Chandler: Dude, don't do that too me!
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
Phoebe: Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know!
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Julie: You don't think they'll judge and ridicule me?
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Monica: I don't care.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Emily: I don't know, it's just
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
Joey: And you don't a little good about donating the money?
Joey: Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned.
Monica: Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry.
Monica: I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!
Monica: Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight!
Monica: Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Joey: Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. (Pause.) Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. (Points over his shoulder.)
Ross: Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me.
Rachel: No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Monica: Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.
Rachel: What? Hey! No-no-no! This not cool! You don't even know me!
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.
Larry: Oh, I don't know about that.
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Monica: Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner.
Monica: I don't know, clean places?
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
(They don't move, just look all around them.)
Chandler: Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks.
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?