words in movies
RACH: [obviously drunk] I mean, it's a cat, y'know, it's a cat. Why can't they get one of those bugs, y'know, one of those fruitflies, those things that live for like a day or something? [belligerently] What're they called, what're they called, what're they called?
Monica: Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
Chandler: Well seeing that drunk Santa wet himself, really perked up my Christmas.
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Rachel: Are you drunk?!
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
JADE: I got a little drunk...and naked.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Ross: Whoa, hey! What are doing? Trying to get me drunk?
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Kate: (drunk) So you really think those newspapers are just jealous of me?
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And Im going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
(Chandler comes back, obviously drunk, and trips over the steps.)
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Joey: Gettin drunk and going to a strip club.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Rachel: Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. Im just glad we didnt do anything stupid.
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Rachel: Well, remember how we were too drunk to remember anything the night we were married?
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Ross: Wow, Monicas letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Joey: So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And yknow who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
Chandler: Okay, heres the thing. Were gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that youre drunk.
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Chandler: Hey-hey are you drunk?
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica!
Chandler: Monicas a little drunk.
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Rachel: Im not vanilla! Ive done lots of crazy things! I mean I got-I got drunk and married in Vegas!
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
Joey: Are you drunk?
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Monica:: Im very, very drunk right now.
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!
Phoebe: (singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.
Rachel: I am sooo drunk.
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
Ross: Ohh! Ohh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm!
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, dont we need to do some kinda preparation first? Like ahh, get really drunk?
Phoebe: Hell, Im drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I cant have a mimosa with breakfast?! Im on vacation!