words in movies
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
(They both turn and wipe their eyes.)
Chandler: No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with his eyes)
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Monica: Ohh. (Monica covers her eyes in horror.)
Monica: But you live here! (Ross rolls his eyes.) You know that.
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
Chandler: Uh-huh. (He doesn't take his eyes off the TV.)
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? (His eyes snap open.) Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever?
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Ross: Still I could tell. She was into me. (Joey rolls his eyes.) Well, why dont you set us up?
The Housekeeper: More turkey Mr. Chandler? (And he makes eyes at him.)
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Monica: Now, open your eyes.
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, youre right. Ill talk to her.
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
Chandler: (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Phoebe: Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you You gotta do something about your eyes.
Joey: What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Chandler has his eyes closed, while Monica is fully awake.]
Chandler: All right buddy, time to roll over. (Rolls him over, and discovers a surprise) (Looking down) No-no! (Covers his eyes) No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! Youre going to a clinic, and a pyjama store!
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
Monica: Oh yeah, right. (Rolls her eyes.)
Monica: So I made snacks. Please, just hang out okay? Im just gonna rest my eyes just a little bit.
Phoebe: No dont tear out your eyes!!
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
(The woman groans, moans, grunts, and screams. Chandlers eyes get huge!)
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
JOEY: Yeah?� (His eyes bug out.)
(Monica rolls her eyes)
(Joey's eyes are twice their size now, and looks nervously from Rachel to Gladys and back.)
Chandler: What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God.
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
(all eyes turn to Rachel)
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
(Joey's eyes double in size)
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
(Ross opens his eyes.)
Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
Chandler: (To Monica and with bulging eyes) Why!?
Chandler: I know. He has your eyes.