words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah, hes really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Joey: And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly.
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Mrs. Geller: Thanks for going along with this.
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Chandler: Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
Ross: Would you excuse us for a second? (Pulls Rachel off to the side) Umm . what are you doing?
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Parker: Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam!
Rachel: Yknow, bonus night. Yknow, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Joey: Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; Im late for work.
Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Ross: Oh for cryin out loud! (He storms out.)
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Tag: Hey, thanks for talking to me.
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Rachel: Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! (They hug)
[Time lapse, Ross is still doing Chandler's game. Tag is heading for the balcony.]
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
Chandler: This is ridiculous. (He heads for Phoebe's bedroom)
Chandler: No, no he went for a walk.
Tag: Thanks for having me over, you guys.
Chandler: Yeah. (Throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom)
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. (Shows the badge.)
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Ross: You're welcome for a delicious dinner.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
Joey: Waiting for candy.
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is getting ready for his date with Kristen.]
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place?
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Chandler: Well, thank you for lunch.
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Rachel: Oh for God sake just pick a piece!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
[Ross enters behind Rachel, and look at each other for a moment.]
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Joey: (angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
(Rachel turns for the door and makes the "Wow!" face.)
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
RACH: [obviously drunk] I mean, it's a cat, y'know, it's a cat. Why can't they get one of those bugs, y'know, one of those fruitflies, those things that live for like a day or something? [belligerently] What're they called, what're they called, what're they called?
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.