words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Mrs. Geller: So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.
Mr. Geller: (entering) Hi Rachel.
Mr. Geller: Wow, love your new nose!
Mrs. Geller: Jack.
Mrs. Geller: I'll get it.
Mr. Geller: (To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mr. Geller: Dude!
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Ross: Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Mrs. Geller: Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mr. Geller: Hi!
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!