words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Little Girl: Dr. Geller?
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Little Girl: Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?
(Mr. Geller dances over.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Geller: You stole my moves. (He starts to dance like Chandler was and Chandler stops.)
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
[Scene: The Gym, Chandler and Mr. Geller are heading for the whirlpool room.]
Mrs. Geller: Jack?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Mrs. Geller: Thanks for going along with this.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Mrs. Geller: (crying) Oh Ross
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Mrs. Geller: Just hear me out!
Mrs. Geller: Oh hi dear!
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Mrs. Geller: I actually needed to talk to you before the birth.
(Mrs. Geller leaves as Ross re-enters the room.)
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Ross: Oh Ross Geller
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Ross: Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller!
Professor Spafford: Professor Geller?
[Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.]
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan!
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Charlie: Ooh... Dr. Geller!
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller!
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Benjamin: Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here?
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Rachel: You're fly is open, Geller!
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller?
Ross: And I'm Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Mr. Geller: Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
MR. GELLER: C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously.