words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Monica: Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the Geller Bowl.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Hows the hired help?
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Mrs. Geller: Hmm.
Mrs. Geller: No, I have faith
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Mrs. Geller: (interrupting) A bitch?
MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Tour Guide: You mean Dr. Geller?
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
Mr. Geller: C'mon kid, let's go.
Mr. Geller: Let's show 'em.
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mr. Geller: Hi Rachel!
Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Mrs. Geller: I just hope...
Mr. Geller: Okay, okay.
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Mrs. Geller: So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Mr. Waltham: Goodbye Geller.
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Mrs. Geller: Jack.
Mr. Geller: (entering) Hi Rachel.
Mr. Geller: Wow, love your new nose!
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mrs. Geller: I'll get it.
Mr. Geller: (To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Mr. Geller: Dude!
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mrs. Geller: Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Ross: Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?