words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Ross: (pretend fishing in the living room) Ohh, Gellers got one hooked! Ohh! Looks like a big one! Yeah, ohh! Ohh! (Swinging the rod back and forth) Its the classic struggle between man and(swings the rod and knocks over a lamp.) Someone knocked over a lamp.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
Carol: No, I mean it's not Geller.
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Mrs. Geller: Mmmm!
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Mrs. Geller: Nothing! It's an expression.
Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Mrs. Geller: What's different?
Mrs. Geller: What?
Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!
Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!
Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?
Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there?
Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.
Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?
Mr. Geller: What's the score?
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.
Mrs. Geller: More wine, dear?
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's.
Mrs. Geller: Tell her what?
Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun.
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.
Mr. Geller: Eat your fish.
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Mr. Geller: I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash;
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...
Rachel: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
FBOB: Geller!
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.