words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Tour Guide: You mean Dr. Geller?
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
Mr. Geller: C'mon kid, let's go.
Mr. Geller: Let's show 'em.
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Mr. Geller: Hi Rachel!
Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Mrs. Geller: I just hope...
Mr. Geller: Okay, okay.
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
Mr. Waltham: Goodbye Geller.
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Mrs. Geller: So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Mr. Geller: (entering) Hi Rachel.
Mr. Geller: Wow, love your new nose!
Mrs. Geller: I'll get it.
Mrs. Geller: Jack.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Mr. Geller: (To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mr. Geller: Dude!
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Mrs. Geller: Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.
Ross: Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Mr. Geller: Hi!
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]