words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: Your make-up kit? Id feel better.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mr. Geller: Hi Rachel!
Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Mrs. Geller: I just hope...
Mr. Geller: Okay, okay.
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
Mrs. Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Mr. Waltham: Goodbye Geller.
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Mrs. Geller: So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.
Mr. Geller: (entering) Hi Rachel.
Mr. Geller: Wow, love your new nose!
Mrs. Geller: Jack.
Mrs. Geller: I'll get it.
Mr. Geller: (To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mr. Geller: Dude!
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
Mrs. Geller: Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Ross: Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Mr. Geller: Hi!
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.