words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: Your make-up kit? Id feel better.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Mrs. Geller: Jack?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Mrs. Geller: Thanks for going along with this.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Mrs. Geller: (crying) Oh Ross
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
[Scene: The Gym, Chandler and Mr. Geller are heading for the whirlpool room.]
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Mrs. Geller: Just hear me out!
Mrs. Geller: Oh hi dear!
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Mrs. Geller: I actually needed to talk to you before the birth.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
(Mrs. Geller leaves as Ross re-enters the room.)
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Ross: Oh Ross Geller
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
[Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.]
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Ross: Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller.
Professor Spafford: Professor Geller?
Charlie: Ooh... Dr. Geller!
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller!
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan!
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller!
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Benjamin: Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here?
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Rachel: You're fly is open, Geller!
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller?
Ross: And I'm Doctor Ross Geller.
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Rachel: (looking out the window) What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Mr. Geller: Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
MR. GELLER: C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Charlie: I'm sorry... (introduces them to each other) Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's.... easy.
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
Sherman Whitfield: Dr. Geller, Sherman Whitfield, London Institute.
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
MR. GELLER: Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends?
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?