words in movies
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MR. GELLER: C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously.
MR. GELLER: Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends?
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MRS. GELLER: Jack. Could you come in here for a moment? NOW!
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Lewis: Professor Geller?
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Little Girl: Dr. Geller?
(Mr. Geller dances over.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Geller: You stole my moves. (He starts to dance like Chandler was and Chandler stops.)
Little Girl: Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Mrs. Geller: Jack?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Mrs. Geller: Thanks for going along with this.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?