words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
Mrs. Geller: What's different?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!
Mrs. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.
[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]
Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun.
Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...
Mr. Geller: Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.
Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.
Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?
Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?
Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there?
Mr. Geller: What's the score?
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Mrs. Geller: Tell her what?
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
Mrs. Geller: ...No. I think some things are better left unsaid. I think it's nicer when people just get along.
Mrs. Geller: More wine, dear?
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Ross: Helen Geller? I don't think so.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Mrs. Geller: Mmmm!
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Carol: No, I mean it's not Geller.
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
Mrs. Geller: Nothing! It's an expression.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Rachel: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!
Mr. Geller: Eat your fish.
Mr. Geller: I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash;
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
FBOB: Geller!
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with him.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.