words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Ross: She doesnt know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy.
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Monica: Of course theres another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
(The guy turns round, startled. Monica points to Phoebe. The guy gets hit by a truck)
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Vince: (running over) Whoa! Hey-hey! Whats going on here? Who is this guy?
Coma Guy: Alright, I'll call you.
Kate: You know what I mean. I mean like the sweetest guy. Joey, youre just so, youre so, so (She passes out and slumps against his shoulder.)
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Monica: (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guys pretty huge!
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Phoebe: Well, Vince is great, y'know `cause, he's like a guy, guy. Y'know? He's so burly, he's sooo very burly. (giggles)
Joey: Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
Monica: Well Id probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
GUY: Alright, fine. [on the phone] I'll call you back. [hands the phone to her]
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Guy: What?!
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
Guy: All right, you have yourself a deal. (shakes his hand)
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it.
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Joey: Will you calm down, hes just a human guy.
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
Rachel: Yeah! (Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up) (Josh leaves) I am soo gonna marry that guy. (looking in her wallet) Ohhh!
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Rachel: Chandler, theres a guy right over there. (Points to the counter)
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasnt quite there. Yknow, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
RACHEL: Oh shoot.� I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks.� (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.)� Wait, wait.� Sorry.� Did he call?� Did that guy call?
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Carl: Exactly! And you just know I'm gonna be the guy caught behind this hammerhead in traffic!
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Joey: Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Monica: Yknow I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
ROB: That's not a good idea, that's kinda the reason the last guy got fired.
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You dont tell the guy that!
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Monica: Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.
Isabella: ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. (points at a guy and leaves)