words in movies
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
[Scene: the 5th Precinct, Gary's precinct, Chandler has come to talk to him about commitment. And as he's walking through the door he notices a couple of "Ladies of the night" sitting there. (If you know what I mean.)]
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Phoebe: My guy has great teeth!
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
[there's a loud bang at the door so Ross opens it back up to find a shoe has been thrown at it]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Ross: And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!
Rachel: Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.
Phoebe: So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
(Everyone screams and has a group hug.)
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I cant eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Rachel: Because, uhit has to.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Monica: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet?
Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]
[Scene: Earls Office, Earl has his head in his hands as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Joey: No, no, no! Its real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! Im up for a Soapie!
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. (he gets up and goes into the kitchen)
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Monica: 007 has a fancy car!
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
(Everyone screams and has a group hug.)
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Chandler: Batman has the Batmobile!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
(The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath.)
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, Ill dump you too!
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has now opened more of the wedding gifts.]
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler has replaced Rosita with his chair.]
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Chandler: Yknow who has a great video camera?