words in movies
Chandler: Okay and he hasnt proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger.
Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, Ill dump you too!
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
(Rachel enters, she has changed once again. This time into her high school cheerleading uniform.)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
CHANDLER: Ok. Ok. Having a phone has finally paid off.
JOEY: Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue.
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
MONICA: Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
Chandler: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Monica: Okay, heres batch 22. Ohh, maybe thesell taste a little like your grandmothers. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
Ross: Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something!
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
[Some guy has entered.]
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well hed prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
PHOEBE: You're not the only one who has a date tonight.
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably shouldve told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg.
RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
(She goes in, and sees Jason without his shirt. It turns out that he has a great body too, and is at a loss for words.)
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
LIPSON: Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes down the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
[Cut to the other side of the apartment, Ross has gone over to straighten things out with Paolo.]
Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.
Machine: Your outgoing message has now been changed.