words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.)
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Phoebe: Oh no, we have to!
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Chandler: (realizing) I have *not* thought this through!
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
Chandler: I don't have a *job*!
The Interviewer: So umm, now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200?
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
Ross: Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, dont I have to wait a while?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Julie: Hi, but I'm not here, you haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have 20 hours of cab and plane on me.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
Rachel: Ooh, I have to go pack. (Gets up to do so.) It really does?
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Chandler: I have no idea.
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. Youre probably just gonna catch her just as shes about to go to the gate. Youre gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And shes gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
RACHEL: Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff.
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Nina: Do you have a sec?
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Joey: Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Monica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Barry: Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to?
Chandler: Alright alright, we still have three hours till escrow closes on our house. We can still get out.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?
Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.
Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Monica: Alright, we have to talk.
Ross: Look, I don't have to answer your questions! Okay? I'm a big boy, I can do whatever I want!
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)
Receptionist: Well, you'll have to wait your turn.
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Monica: Do you have a plan?
Photographer: Why dont we have Monica step away and well get Chandler and the bridemaids.
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Monica: You've never met Bob, have you?
Ross: Rach, have you never done this before?
Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Rachel: I could not have done this without you.
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Phoebe: You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time (She starts laughing hysterically.) You dont remember?
Aurora: Okay. Oh no, I have to.
Aurora: You have me!
Monica: Rachel, you can go down there, you don't have to smoke. Just say you wanna get some fresh air.
Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm justI'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
Monica: I have no idea what you just said.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
Joey: We have a winner!
Rachel: I have absolutely no idea.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Paolo: Ah, you... have the sex?
The Professor: Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Rachel: Anyway, theres this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go
Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Shelley: I dunno, uh... you just have a-a...
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.