words in movies
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Rachel: Wow! What did he say?
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Jill: No! I mean hes nice.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Rachel: Are-are you saying hes a geek?
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Jill: No! Yknow what Rachel? Youre right, yknow he has been really nice to me.
Rachel: Yeah but, hes not your type.
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Jake: Yeah that would be great! Let me make sure Im not doing anything Tuesday. (He bends over to open his bag, when he does so his pants slide down his butt revealing a pink lace secret.)
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
Monica: Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
Ross: Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?
Chandler: (visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Chandler: He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!
(He calls and quickly hangs up.)
Monica: Was he falsely accused of something? (They look hopeful)
(He closes the door. Rachel's not happy with that and knocks again. He opens the door.)
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)
Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Monica: He- he pooped in my shoe.
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are taking a break from work.]
Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)
Phoebe: But hes falling in love with her.
Joey: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability.
Joey: Maybe we shouldnt pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.)
(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n' Lo's rain down on him)
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
(He leaves, but then returns a moment later.)
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Susan: He started it!
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Charlie: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Carol: What does he look like?
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.
Monica: He is so amazing.
Joey: He doesn't do much, does he?
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
Chandler: What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you!
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Monica: Does he not make enough money?
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
Rachel: Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy....
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Monica: No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
(He goes to sit down next to Ross.)
Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Rachel: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
Monica: Demi Moore is not a he.
Carol: As much as he needs.
Annabelle: I guess he doesn't know.
Joey: What's he doin' in my section?
[Scene: Joey's Bedroom, he and Melanie are in bed together.]
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
Ross: (he takes a baby blue beret out of a shopping box and puts it on) How does this look?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Joey: And again, and again, and again... (phone rings, he answers) Hello? (hands phone to Chandler) And again.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
MR. BOYLE: He didn't have any.
CHANDLER: Wow, he looks so normal.
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week.
Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
RACHEL: What did, what did he say?
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)