words in movies
Rachel: He offered me one.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
Chandler: I know. *He* always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic.
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Ross: Oh, nothing, it’s just, it’s close to Ron. Does he.. Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance?
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Ross: He’ll be fine.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He walks in reading his mail, and plays back his messages on the answering machine]
Joey: Oh my God. (Still in shock when his mobile rings, he picks it up) Hello?
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Ross: (picks up a skull of some carnivore from his side table and puts it in the same bag in which he brought the pterodactyl egg to Zelner) I'm sure he'll understand.
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Phoebe: Okay well, he would turn things to gold.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Pete: Well... (he holds up a gift he brought her)
Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Rachel: Yeah, but Mon thats totally different. He was youre health teacher.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
Rachel: Well, we have gotta find out if hes alive.
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Ross: (He checks his watch) Sure. Ill help you.
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
(He leaves)
Monica: What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.
Ross: No, Im good. (He sits down, stunned.)
Kate: And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal....
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Director: (on phone)...Dammit, hire the girl! (He hangs up the phone.) Okay, everybody ready?
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
Joey: (making like he is yelling up to the second floor) Im coming up!
(He leaves the gang in stunned silence.)
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
(He goes over and sits down at the counter, all depressed.)
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
(He removes the blanket covering the thing.)
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
(He goes up on stage, mimes like he's giving the speech, and Chandler takes his picture. However, before he gets down everyone starts clinking their glasses for a real speech.)
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Phoebe: I dont know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince!
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Monica: He didnt ask me to marry him.
(Sergei says something and leans in to kiss her, but just as hes about to....)
[He distracts her from catching Monica and Monica slams into her, knocking her down. Monica then falls on top of her.]
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Robin: Well y'know, hes got access.
Ross: I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.
CHANDLER: 'Cause he was just so darn cute.
Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a Pouff!)
Lisa: He fell down once! And we re-did it and we went back. And he(laughs)he was afraid he was gonna fall down
(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
CHANDLER: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right, what do you think?
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Rachel: I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you!
Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
Monica: Oh well, where is he?!
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Monica: Hes totally flirting with you too.
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Chandler: Youll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this.
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.