words in movies
Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts).
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Ross: Mhm, (he balance things) packing - sexy cheerleader comedy.
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Chandler: Rachel... with handcuffs! Interesting! (he looks excited)
Chandler: (he doesn't look excited anymore). Well played.
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.)
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. (he mimes hitting his head with his fist)
Chandler: (to Joey) You couldn't be cool. (he goes to the guest bedroom)
(she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit)
Joey: (in pain) Doesn't work... (he falls down on on his knees with his head on the floor)
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
MONICA: No he went out to get pizza.
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
(Joey tires of this, so he gets up to leave.)
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
[Ross goes over behind the guy and grabs the pie out of his hood as he leaves]
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Phoebe: Yeah, well hed prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
CHANDLER: Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
ROSS: Uh, Eddie something. He just met him.
Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
Chandler: All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coffee.)
CHANDLER: No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
RACHEL: So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
(She goes in, and sees Jason without his shirt. It turns out that he has a great body too, and is at a loss for words.)
Gunther: Hes getting married tomorrow right?
Ross: I go back there with lawn ornaments, hes going to laugh in my face.
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
EDDIE: No he, he moved out and I moved in.
JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.
Ross: Im trying. (He strains to move his feet.)
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
[Joey walks to the door. He stops, turns around.]
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
LITTLE BULLY: He told on us?
MONICA: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
PHOEBE: Ok so will he be back soon?
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
ROSS: Yeah he was wasn't he.
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?
MRS BUFFAY: He went out for groceries.
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
[He kisses her on the cheek, she returns the kiss, then they embrace in a full on kiss]
Rachel: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
CHANDLER: Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that?
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Chandler: Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! (He grabs their bags and sprints out.)
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Monica: Was he crying?
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (he kisses her)
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Janice: You know what, where he hugs you and kinda rolls you away and... Oh... my....God.
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)