words in movies
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
Ross: (to Gary) He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him!
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
Monica: See if he has ice.
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
Ross: Umm, jealous! (He drops the cherry and it turns on.)
Ross: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Gary: Okay, here he comes. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?!
Gary: Okay, he sees us. Now don't move. Don't look at him.
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Ross: (on the machine) Hey Ross! It's you! I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive! So live everyday to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. Oh, and also get stamps. Bye! (He hangs up.)
Gary: Wait! Hold on! (He goes over to Phoebe and gives her a kiss.) (To Phoebe) Hi!
Ross: Yeah, but-but he didn't know that!
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Joey: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I knew you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Chandler: Thanks. (He grabs the sandwich.)
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Phoebe: Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story.
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Phoebe: Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Phoebe: Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
(He closes the door before Rachel can say anything.)
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
[Scene: Ross's now empty apartment, he is spackling some holes shut as the gang comes to apologize.]
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Joey: ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt.
(He does so.)
Joey: Now, y'know the bee probably died after he stung ya.
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Phoebe: All right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in.
(He goes into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: He's so funny! (She imitates what he just did.)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Rachel: Okay. (Closes the door.) Walked right into that one didn't he?
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
(He leaves and she closes the door.)
Joey: Mine! (He grabs it.)
(He looks at them.)
(He exits.)
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
RACH: What, isn't he sober?
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Dr. Franzblau: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Danny: Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back. (He heads off.)
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Chandler: He thought you said gonad.
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.)
Joey: Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Chandler: Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. (He slowly and awkwardly gets down on one knee.)
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
(He kisses her.)
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
PHOE: Oohh, um, no, I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went, um, dancing the other night and the way he held me so close, and the way he was looking into my eyes I just like... definitely felt something.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: (After he closes the door) See ya.
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Ross: Huh? I know, I know. Who am I? David Bowe? (Shakes his head around, pretending like hes jamming.)
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Rachel: Is he romantic with her?
(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)
Chandler: I know, I can do this. (He takes her hand.)
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Rachel: There he is!
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
[Scene: The Telethon, Joey's phone rings and he answers it.]
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.