words in movies
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
Joey: No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin closer.
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Phoebe: Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
Chandler: All right, maybe I should call her.
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
(They all go over to her apartment.)
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
Phoebe: Yeah, umm thats Whitney (Points), Kyles ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can yknow divert her so that we can slip out?
Monica: All right, hold on okay? First thing's first. (Gets her cleaning gloves on) Okay, now did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked?
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Joey: Was she happy you gave her the job?
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Ross: Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Ross: Well now lets-lets look at this objectively, I think I should date her
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because were going to dinner with her and Clark.
Ross: Thats interesting, but check this out. I date her
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here?
Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Ross: Maybe Ill take her to that new French restaurant down the street
Rachel: Well, because she loves you and because you love her.
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Phoebe: Yes, and now hes using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Phoebe: (interrupts her, to Monica) Shh, wait and see. Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
Phoebe: I know. Hand me a tissue. (Monica hands her one.)
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Rachel: (sympathetic) Oh. (Starts rubbing his wrist with her fingers.) Its gotta be rough.
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
The Woman: (after Monica gives her the candy) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Joey: Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Monica: Well just well just let her stay.
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Joey: Here. (Gives her the coins) Now I only owe you $49.50.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Morning.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Startin to feel her again there are we?
Phoebe: You heard her too?! You have the gift!
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
Rachel: Because I think I just heard her moving around in there.
Rachel: No that could kill her.
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Rachel: Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something with it! (Shows her, her ring)
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Monica: (to the couple on her left) So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple?
Phoebe: (checking her watch) Yeah, Im very wise. I know.
David: Well, Im very glad youre here. (Kisses her hand.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
Cop: (stopping her) Hey, wait a second! So wait, what precinct are you with?
Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
(Cousin Frannie and her husband enter.)
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Chandler: (looking up with her) Thats a plane!
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Molly: (with Emma in a basinet) She's out, I'm gonna take her home.
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
Joey: (nervously backing away) I-I-I-I did? (He puts a stool in front of her.)
Male Jeweler: (ignoring her) How would you like to pay?
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
Rachel: So? (She puts her hands in his, totally forgetting about the gloves, and hoping for something more intimate.)
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
A Drunken Gambler: (To Chandler) Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag and her are arriving.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Joey: Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.