words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
PHOEBE: Why not her?
CHANDLER: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
JOEY: Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared.
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
MONICA: Well, how bout just her mom?
CHANDLER: Why her mom?
MONICA: Cause I already invited her.
JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
[Chandler and Joey stop dancing and laugh at her]
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
MR. GREENE: ...and her yoga and her Bridges of Madison County...
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
Monica: (Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put (realises) Oh my God! Its in the quiche! Oh My God!
(She starts to walk very slowly toward the front of the room. The teacher grabs her hand and pulls her. Suddenly a woman bursts in)
Joanna: (locking her door) Oh.
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Rachel: You promised you would break up with her!
[Cut to Rachels office as her intercom buzzes.]
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Monica: Have you ever taken out the trash? (Hands her the garbage.)
Ross: So youre strong enough to face her on your own?
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Rick: (looking at her feet) Wow, you have really pretty feet.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Chip: Amy Welch? Wow! I havent seen her since... So, Monica about ready?
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Phoebe: Yes, I will tell her.
Phoebe: Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]
Rachel: You love her.
Rachel: (proud of her self) I almost caught that one!
(The interviewer watches her leave with an Oh my goodness face.)
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Ross: Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)
Monica: How's it going with her?
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Chandler: (looking at her) Seriously, answer faster!
Ross: (she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head outside.)
Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me.
Phoebe: (picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.
Monica: Umm. (nodding her head, "Good.")
Rachel: I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her guitar.]
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
ALL: [congradulating her and celebrating]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
(Chandler gives Joey her business card, which he eagerly grabs and he leaves.)
Chandler: Why cant you tell her?
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Look, Im sorry! But theres nothing I can do, I think Im in love with her!
Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss?
Rachel: Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian.
Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!
Rachel: (standing in her doorway) People are trying to sleep in here!
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
Chandler: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, you could dance real good with her, shes the same size as me.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that Ill stop seeing her?
Rachel: Okay. (She goes into her bedroom)
Tim: Hi. (gives her a bottle of wine)
Monica: I saved you a seat. (Motions to the one next to her.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Rachel: Oh, he sees her!
Joey: Oh yeah, I definitely know her.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.