words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Chandler: And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Chandler: Well maybe you dont have to tell him anything.
Chandler: Im so tired. (She starts kissing him.) Yeah okay, but no foreplay.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Monica: You cant marry him!
Monica: Well do you love him?
Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
Phoebe: Oh. (She starts laughing. Then she throws the badge at him and runs away.)
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
(Chandler mimics him.)
Monica: (looking at him) What?!
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Ross: (scared) I will, I will find him.
Gunther: No. No, I havent seen him.
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Monica: (sees two people exit) Okay, those people just left, come on! Quick! Give him the money and get their table!
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Rachel: Yeah, we got him back. Everythings fine.
(Ross runs over and tackles him.)
Ross: Dude. (Hugs him.)
Conan: You could actually see him trying not to fall down.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
(Chandler runs around behind Ross, who pitches him the ball. Chandler runs upfield, and Joey knocks the ball out of his hands.)
Ross: No-no! Ill-Ill (He takes too much and some falls out of his mouth, which starts him laughing.)
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Monica: (seeing him) Oh sweet Lord.
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Mona: No, nine. (Shows him the card again.)
Chandler: Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives.
(Another little girl walks over to him.)
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.)
Monica: You cant marry him!
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Wendy: Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? (She gets hold of Chandler's tie, slowly moving her hands upwards on the tie, getting closer and closer to him, seductive.)
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: (goes to hug him and stops short) HeyyyyWhat?
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
Rachel: (seeing him) Hi!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Joey: Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) Thats right.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Ross: Well, why dont you correct him?
Phoebe: (To him) Oh, well hello there.
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
Monica: I I have to fire him.
Chandler: If I see him, Ill ask.
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Phoebe: Because Im dumping him today.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, but you cant fire him today.
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Rachel: I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
Rachel: And you are a very funny clown. (Gives him candy.)
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
(Ross hesitates then leans down trying to get her to kiss his cheek, but she moves his head around and kisses him on the lips again.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Joey: I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We (Ross and him) invented this game!
Phoebe: Why are you lying to him?
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)